Where were you when I wanted to be eaten?

Where were you when I wanted to be eaten?
Where were your tongue and your jaws?
I've tried to be kind and forgiving
I have overlooked all of your flaws
But I waited all day in the buttery
All slathered in barbecue sauce
While my heart grew increasingly fluttery
And I said, "Never mind, it's your loss!"
But I wanted, I wanted, I waited
To be eaten, and you never came
In my loneliness I marinated
In a clumpy bechamel of shame
By my rank wilting dreams I am garnished
Where were you when I wanted to be eaten?
I confess, I give up, I am beaten
All my love for you forever tarnished